Are you missing your sense of direction and purpose?
Judging by the social media and marketing that bombard us daily, it would seem many are. We’re living through an epidemic of burnout, exhaustion, and emotional near collapse. People feel defeated and stuck in negative spirals about work, life, and relationships.
A client told me recently that she had her core values defined, a sense of purpose in place, and an admirable list of daily self-care practices. And yet she was teetering on the verge of burnout. Her question was: What more can I do? What am I missing?
This is the trouble with the endless self-care slogans: walk in nature, meditate, journal, do yoga, visualise success. All valid, but in isolation, unlikely to create lasting change. They risk becoming another frantic to-do list, leading to guilt when you can’t keep up. The question is not whether they help — but whether they take us far enough.
True change requires depth, commitment, and sometimes discomfort. It means working across physiology, mindset, habits, community, and meaning. These layers are interconnected, and addressing only one is like watering the leaves of a plant while ignoring the roots.
Lately I’ve been revisiting the Tao Te Ching. Lao Tzu wrote: “If you realise that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.” Taoism isn’t about control or conquest, but flow, yielding, and returning to stillness. Modern psychology echoes this in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which teaches us to adapt to the present moment, even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings, so we can act in line with our values.
ACT isn’t about eliminating struggle but learning to sit with thoughts and emotions, noticing them rather than being consumed. It’s slow work, but it builds resilience and flexibility — the opposite of rigid rumination. As Carl Rogers said: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
None of this happens in isolation. Redwoods grow over 350 feet tall, yet their shallow roots intertwine with others for strength. Likewise, resilience comes from community and connection as much as individual practice.
So yes — do the self-care. But don’t punish yourself if you can’t tick every box. One thing, done with presence and rootedness, may be enough. The rest comes from tending the deeper layers — your values, your community, and your ability to stay open to opportunity, even in difficulty.
Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
